User Profile

I'm pretty much an ordinary girl... a really messed up ordinary girl. I usually analyze everything, so I permanently feel that everything I do isn't anywhere near to where I want it to be... I'll never be happy with myself, I'll never be good enough. Yeah I'm a little depressed, and it's not just now, this is my everyday state of mind. It sucks a little but I got used to it. So I'm a perfectionist and a loner, and probably this won't ever change.
Now I'm a freshman in college, I finally got away from home... I used to think this will be nice but it turned out my family was (surprisingly) a good thing for me to have around; since I arrived here I faced a new Me... I'm even less stronger I ever thought I was, I'm just really... messed up. I've recently (or not so recently) developed an eating disorder; I'd name it if I could, but it's more like a mixture: some days I binge (that's what I did today, and I feel so.. low), some days I throw up even after a few bites (that doesn't make me feel too great neither), some days I don't eat at all... Anyway, all my frustrations and my feelings of anger, loneliness, anxiousness and boredom now reflect on my eating, all day long I'm thinking about food... not eating but avoiding it... although I usually end up in binges.
Stupid thing about profiles, I hate writing them, but I can't seem to stop now even though I don't even know if this counts as a bio. Whatever, I really don't care. I just want things to change. I want to be in control, to really be able to say that I actually enjoy my life.
I'd better stop here, it's not like anyone will read this junk anyway. I'm not even sure if I'll post anything. Although maybe that'll help, it'll keep me occupied.

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